It has been roughly a week since my little blow up on Instagram. If you happen to follow my social media, you may have seen it. Reeling from yet another rejection from a publisher, my spirit went into a downward spiral. I felt dejected and discouraged. And honestly, in that moment, I felt like being a writer was a stupid dream that I should give up on.

What affected me so much was that this publisher didn’t reject my submission because it didn’t fit their ethos. In fact, the publisher made sure I knew that they loved my authorial voice and enjoyed reading my submission. My book was exactly the kind of project they are passionate about. The problem was my social media.  In a world where the metrics of importance are likes and shares, followers, and subscribers, I simply don’t measure up. So, if I want to be a writer – a true writer – well I better get to growing my account.

Since then, I have been thinking a lot about my identity. As I move through these years in my life, what do I want to focus on, in my ministry, in my writing, in my personal life? Where is God asking me to spend my time, and what gifts does Jesus want me to cultivate? To be honest, spending a flurry of time trying to raise my social media numbers doesn’t really excite me. In fact, my heart sinks whenever I think about it.

But does this mean that my desire for a published book, to share a message I feel God has placed within me, is all but lost?  Have these last two years of writing been a waste of effort and time.

As I sat with these questions, the Spirit brought to my mind a conversation I had with a gifted writer over 10 years ago. Sensing I had a deep desire to move more fully into writing, she said to me “Kyle, do not strive to have an audience, strive to have something to say.” In other words, be someone with a message. Audiences come and go, but our calling to a message remains through all things. It is our calling that defines who we are.

We see this in the figure of John the Baptist.  In the Gospel of John, the first words we read about this important figure is, “There was a man sent by God. His name was John” (John 1:6). Everything else flows out of this declaration. John was a witness to the light of God, stepping into the world. He called people to repentance, he challenged soldiers and pharisees, he baptized, and he encouraged.

Sure, John did amazing things. But none of those things were disconnected from embracing his identity. Deep in his heart, John knew who he was; John was a man, sent by God.

When I read my name in place of John’s, all the frustration and the self-negativity I felt at the publisher’s rejection faded from my spirit. The deep condemnation I felt over not being “good enough” or “popular enough” or “big enough”, was replaced by an inner abiding, and a re-confirmation of who I am called to be.

The truth is my life isn’t found in the followers I have. My value isn’t set by the number of books that I sell or the way that a book comes about. My identity isn’t defined by how many people read what I write (even this post). The truth of my life is quite simple: “There was a man sent by God. His name was Kyle.” Ultimately, it is my calling to share a message of spiritual encouragement that defines me, and it is my desire to live into that message.

You are not your followers. You are not your success or your shares. You are not the memes that you post. You are not the thumbs-up you receive, or the comments you gain. You are not what today’s algorithm says you are, or what tomorrow’s metric will try to force you into.

You are sent by God, alive, loved, and free. You are given gifts and abilities directly applicable to the message you are called to proclaim. You have been planted in this world to testify to the light of God, shining brilliantly in you, and through you. So, repeat after me: There was a ____________, sent by God, whose name was ___________.  Hallelujah.